An American tourist once asked a college porter "Gee, your grass sure looks great. How d'ya get it looking so perfect?' 'Mow it and roll it for six hundred years sir,' came the deadpan reply.
I was told that by a guy whose cousin's girlfriend's cat's vet's son was actually there so it has to be true. But true or not, the grass in Cambridge colleges is generally billiard-table quality. This is Corpus Christi College's effort - and you have to agree, that's a sweet bit of turf.
Just the other day in 1382, the college was the cause of an uprising by townspeople like myself. A mob led by the city's mayor stormed it in protest against its rigid exaction of "candle rents" or rent charges assessed upon houses in its ownership, according to the number of wax-tapers found. Personally I keep only three, small, wax tapers about my accommodation - but I swear I saw my neighbour flagrantly playing his PS3 by the light of at least 5 of the scented variety no less!